Good Night

Louder and louder the same message is being conveyed to me. From friends and family. Peeps who don’t even know each other are telling me the same thing. Especially since the last week or three. And I don’t get it. Why? It’s not like I have somehting to say. Or have a message that isn’t out there already. It’s not like my message would be new. It’s not like I could say: Eureka! No way.

The message?”Write a book!!!” That would be the first one page book in history. There is only one thing I could possible say. Blogging is different than writing a book. Blogging is bout my every day shenanigans. It’s easy. There is no real story-line. Or is there? Yes there is, but it came together automatically thru this miss. I didn’t even know I was in for this. I had no clue I was writing a script.

What would I write in a book? What would my book be about? Me? Boring. I can tell you what I do all day. Three things. Yes, my life is still very very eventless. I Eat, Sleep and Pee. O and sometimes I Poo too. O yea and I write. But really, that is all I do. I’m sick of it too.

“Make it happen.” A friend said to me this eve. “I’m trying, over and over and over but nothing seems to open up for me!” I replied. In fact; it’s never been like this in my entire life. I used to be a networking and manifesting machine. I wanted something? I got it. Now? Stuck in da mud! Big time. A big rut. And it feels like the more I try, the more I cry. Will I ever fly? (time:1:23 pm)

Major down episode this eve. I eat. And I ate. I hate being here. And now I hear:”You gotta love what you hate in order for it to transform.” (word count:307) I love it here too. So now please transform. I miss the trees so badly. I miss BC tremendously. I’m suffocating. I’m drowing and I can’t swim. I’m a sags. I know how to ride a horse but I don’t know how to swim.

What more can I possibly doooooo? And can I please stop writing and overloading my page too??? You know what that one page in my book would say:”Listen to yourself and be deaf to whatever someone else has to say.” But don’t listen to me! Now you see, why I shouldn’t write a book? I’ve got nothing to say. I don’t speak. I’m a mute. And I transmute. O, No more. So why am I here? To leave my baggage here?

Who would come get me? “Now that, that is the surprise of your life!” Yea right…. Why would I still listen to what I write? Some proof would be nice. Plus, I can’t even afford to pay for copy right. What a life… Good night. Depressed? Seems like it ey? O yes. Simply maja light enery stress. What a fucking mess. I express, to have no stress.

Mexico did me in. I went into a spin. Stupid oil thing!(published:1:44 pm)