Help!

What keeps coming back to me are two things, well no, actually, three! One: Let it Be. Two: comes louder and louder from people around me and that is them telling me I should ask for help. Three: a song. You are listening to it while you read this and I was listening to it while I wrote this piece. That is what I do, some songs that come in from you inspire me while writing a piece. I put a song on repeat until the piece is out and ready to be released and to please your eyes.

***

I got lucky today. My friend V. donated a hundred dollars to me. No need no more to be hungry. How funny it is that since this morning the hunger also seemed to have vanished. But maybe that had more to do with the amount of granola bars I ate last night. Now I’m eating almond butter out of the jar and drink water like I haven’t had anything to drink in weeks. Sucking on my bottle like a baby can suck on its moms breasts after its been a bit too long since its been fed.

But chit chat ’bout breastfeeding just distracts from where I was going with this piece. You know what? Sometimes it feels like the whole world is watching me. Crazy, I know. A little bit like the Truman show. But let’s move on to point number two. Since I’ve mastered number One, which is to Let It Be. Number two is about help.

I went for a nature stroll and wondered about a lot of things. One of them was the ‘cry out’ from some of you. I can’t ignore it since you are a god too. But, I have but one re-sponsibility and that is me. My own heart, my voice. It is telling me to let help be. But what does that mean? And what does help look like to me? Honestly? Let me be really candid with thee. Ehm, like I’ve done anything other than that in the past year.

In my wildest dreams, considering the situation that I’m in, this is what help looks like to me. And o yeah, before I spill; I’ll let ya know I’ve felt this dream you’re about to read from A to Z. After feeling it I always let it go and let it be. So here we go: my man comes to the house I live in right now, looks me straight in the eye without getting down on one knee and asks me:”Will you marry me!” Needless to say what my answer would be but let me say it to thee:”YES!” After that we go off to the sunset and ‘course have sex. The real kind, the kind experienced with true love; gentle, fun, passionate, exploring and ‘course: sexy. Who is my man? The one who let me listen to the song ‘right beside you’. Our love-story is turned into a movie while we are travelling the world, painting, making movies, laugh, have dinner parties with friends and lots more play all day every day. O yeah, I keep hearing we are going to Ibiza too. I can’t wait, can you?

***

Told ya I dream big. Sometimes dreams really do come true. In my case? I dunno, like I said, I dunno shit. But I am feeling it. The dreams that is. Yet, of feelings I let go too. Whatever you let go (word count: 573 draft saved: 5:11:11 pm) has a chance to find its own authentic flow. If it comes back to you, then you know. Than it’s meant to be. Letting go is not only the greatest act of love, it’s also the greatest act of trust. And if something doesn’t come back to me, then something way better must be on its way to me. But I’m getting that it’s already right beside me. We’ll see. It’s phase-locked already so what will be in physicality energetically already is. Now it’s just a matter of allowing it to come true by sitting in my bliss and my only responsibility is this; my writing bizz.