Funny Bunny

Breakfast: two scrambled eggs. Food left: three eggs, some oatmeal good for one more breakfast and that’s that. Oh, I do have babyfood left. Yes. Someone once told me it’s good to drink some babymilk (read:milkpowder mixed with water) for breakfast as it contains all the minerals you need during a day. I tried it but my body didn’t like it. There is lactose in it and I’m lactose intolerant. But maybe my crystal light which is on fire right now, is now able to neutralize anything that enters my system which isn’t orginally compatible with me. (word count:88)

***

Something feels off. That something triggered my anger yesterday eve. Even tho I really do suck at math, see proof right here, something does not add up! I’ve done the work, whatever that means, but I know I have. But here I am, stuck in this town, not being able to manifest a thing at the moment. That is very unlike me. Even tho I have only been able to manifest the bare minimum in the past year and a half, it was always just enough to tide me over to the next miracle. I was never stressed, never worried. Always full on trusting in the Universe.

And the Universe is me. Inside out. I keep hearing the voice of Sigourney Weaver in that scene from the movie Avatar when she comes out of (time:9:44 am)her Avatar-state-machine and she says:”you guys, what’s wrong with this picture?!’ Mind you; she expected there to be someone to hand her her cigarette but that’s not what that sentence refers to in this movie.

What does it refer to? I dunno. I wish I knew. I’m gonna let it be, so it has a chance to transform into full blown clarity. I wonder ’bout it, yes I do. But I always let it go so the answer can find its own authentic flow. But something doesn’t feel right, something feels off.

***

Something else. Something odd. Like the last few weeks have been nothing but odd. Yesterday for the first time in a year I saw this mr. in town. I’m not sure if he saw me, but that don’t matter. He was in his car and just drove off like 15 meters ahead of me. For a moment it shocked me. (word count:372) Then I let it be. O damn Beatles. It’s time for a new tune allright! But really, it was odd, cuz here I am, having been here in this town for a year now, thinking I would only be here for three weeks, maybe three months tops, and I never ran into Will, who lives here. It’s a small town so it could’ve easily happened. Ok, yes it did, once. During this eve. But that was different. In retrospect: it almost felt like that eve was a set-up. For what? I dunno.

You know, ever since this day; life has changed. It no longer feels the same. It feels like I’m no longer running the show. How do I get back in control? Surrender. It’s the ultimate act of trust. So yes, I surrender to what is. And who-ever directs (draft saved:9:54:44 am)I’m not sure if my heart can handle a surprise act.

Want to know for sure? Try me. It might end up looking really funny. And after all, isn’t that what we wished for? To make a movie that is funny like hell?! Let’s break this ‘not knowing’ spell..shall we? (published:10:10 am)