Crystal Clear

Today is November twenty-sixth.

Time flies when your old-self dies.

Around me are quite a few flies; attracted to the light.

They’re actually in my head; today causin’ me a little upset.

***

My mind is full; makin’ the mass within my skull; slightly ache.

Today I want to bake; another batch of cookies; there’s none left in da houses’ nookies.

***

I’m getting lighter and lighter, parallel to that, my restless mind, seems to think it won’t survive;

if I don’t re-act to these damdest flies.

I’ve learned to rise, to the occasion; through this ascending by blending, left into right.

In union always follows a love-reunion.

***

I’m sitting here writing at the adventure centre.

Sippin’ away at my tea; also served, a hearty beef noodle soup for me.

I like this place; it’s bright, quiet and peacefully.

I ponder, whether today is the day to say, “hello’ to the dog.

But I’m not feeling it just yet.

I truly hope the dog ain’t no longer upset.

I really want to say ‘hi’; yet I still feel this pull, once that’s decreased to zero;

I bet we will be back to being each others hero.

***

Soft Jazz music is playing in the background.

For no amount; would I want to go back; to the days, when I was still playin’ the clarinet.

Wow, that’s funny that the clarinet playin’ comes up.

All of a sudden my mind won’t stop;

with connecting yet again one after the other dot.

My mom made me play, this instrument to which I’d said: “Ney!”

I wanted to play the sax, the harp or the piano.

But because my mom played the clarinet in her teens; it became my music ‘means’.

In my early teens, every week for three years; I had to live with these fears;

that my musical peers, would use my clarinet!

It really ruffled my trumpet; I’d get really upset, when my music teacher put his mouth;

around the mouth of my clarinet.

“Ugh, I don’t like him, nor do I like his saliva, on my clarinets mouth piece!

Please!! Release and cease from one after the other saliva tease!”

***

Here’s the ‘funny’ thing: my teacher was not only my musical preacher; in class was one other girl.

She was a total snob; she had stopped;

wearing her watch.

Because one day to her I happily said:” Hey, look, we’ve got the same watch!”

That was it; she did not want to be associated with me.

Now that I’m free; I still don’t like her you see.

Could it be; I have not set free; one more little mind-story?!

***

The snob, for her I got dropped; by my best friend.

The snobs parents had a lot of money; in school she’d always have the most popular honey.

I never hated her; I just didn’t understand, why we could not all be best friends?!

But she always excluded me; my ex-best friend would rather be; with someone who had lots of friends and money.

***

That was my minds-story, from my 14th-year-glory.

Two years later I went on an exchange.

Went on to live in the States.

All by myself; tho I lived with a family of someone else.

My host-family was sweet; I did not want to return back home; this experience was too neat.

It made me meet; a whole new world.

By the end of the year; my birth parents came to see, me.

I did not want them to visit; I had finally found a family; who really ‘saw’ me.

I’ll never forget; when my basketball teammates found out I was upset.

The first family in the States I lived with; well, it just wasn’t a good fit.

I was alone most of the time; they were old and their kids were already a good ‘mold’,

of society.

They’d already left their parents house; so I was a lonely little mouse.

One day after basketball practice; all the girls gathered around me; they made me see;

true love of a ‘family’.

Each of the girls had asked their parents if I could stay with them for the remaining 240-days!

I don’t re-member what my face; must have looked like; all I re-member:

“This is what it must feel like to have an unforgettable Christmas in December!”

That night I got a call from my teammate Steph; she’s the best!

With her and her family I stayed for the rest;

of my senior high school year.

Until I started to write, that was the best year of my life!

***

Now can you see, that every little story, I set free;

is building the momentum; for something I’m still not ‘allowed’ to ‘see’?

***

It is sunny; during my morning hike it was still foggy.

The fog has cleared; my doubt with that has disappeared!

The dog?

Reverse the word and what you do you get?

A GOD!!!