Loophole

Ok… I’m takin’ a deep breath; Yes.

I don’t know what’s goin’ on here, I just continue to go with it.

I guess I’m writing an online book; live.

Does that mean y’all will be the witnesses of the end and the new beginning?

Is this a Universal game and am I ‘winning’?

(word count: 44, any numerologists out there, feel free to shine your light..)

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(word count: 66; I’m tellin’ ya, they keep drawin’ my attention to time, numbers constantly now..)

I did a google search and this is what I found, from a cyber screen to shout:

66 represents a higher octave of 33.

33: signifies: Illumination.

Well, is this all to me an hallucination? (word count; 111!!!)

They are screaming at me!

“Open your eyes! Can’t you see?!”

I’m sorry; I can’t, but i’m sure you keep helping me, under the pressure I won’t bent.

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When I first started to write in February I asked myself the question:

” Why me? Why is this given to me?”

The answer was simple you see.

I was told because I question everything; to me a no-thing, becomes a thing.

It’s not that I’m necessarily looking for The truth; I just love to ponder and wonder.

But in this case? I would be fantastic if it’d make me end up with my twin-mate!

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So on we go, round round, like a hoolahoop around me hips; until we figure out the loophole!

Who is the blind mole?

I am laughing out loud now; you’ll get the Universes’ joke I bet, when i’ll tell ya in a sec.

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I met him online more than two years ago.

Little did I know, when he’d at my place show;

I’d be blown away, the minute I opened the door and he’d say:

“Hi!”

Did I know, my heart would fly?

No!

Did I want it to happen?

No!

I was acting out, after years of bending under the pressures of society;

I had no clue he’d be the one to bring me back to my own sobriety.

The night he would spent, but I made him leave.

Could not handle my own grief.

He brought it up in me; I’m sure he had no clue you see.

Is it because of you, I’m here in this town?

Re-minding me of what a fool to you I’ve been, such a clown?

Nah, that can’t be, I’ve let you go you see.

The Universe said NO; back to Holland I can’t go, just continue to go with your flow and it’ll show.

Time on my clock: 11:11…..

O what a shock!

They go: ” Wake-up, wake-up!”

But what is it you want me to do?

I ain’t got no clue!

I ain’t goin over to him, to be ignored, again!

He should be comin’ to me, now that I’m finally free!

Doesn’t it go like this: “ When you love something let go, (word count: 477) if it comes back, then you know?!”

I guess that’s my clue..

From you?

Cuz I ain’t goin’ over to you.

I’m tellin’ ya a little story ’bout my sister and how she used to;

push me away.

Yeah, if you’re readin’ this; you know what I’m gonna say.

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Man, was she ever cool!

In school?

She was hot!

I was not.

She rode ’round on this pink bike; parade around on it like I now do with my backpack on my hike.

The bike was customized.

Every person in her class; wrote their name on it.

I thought it was way cool, very dope this shit!

She never listened to my parents; went her own way.

One night? She wanted to go out; climbed out of her window and biked away.

To the bar she went, got a little spent; the next day?

Nothing to my parents she would say.

Only to me.

I’d say: “Really? that’s what you did?”

My eyes so big you wouldn’t believe it.

I wish I dared to be so free; do and be who-ever I wanted to be.

O dear God; you’re hittin’ me again, over the head…

That’s what I’m doin’! Right now!

Finally I’m doin’ whatever I want and I feel soo free!

Like my dad always wanted and my sister always did.

I sure am working out all this family ‘shit’. (word count: 711) Time: 11.33.

The numbers are shown to me, I feel I just gotta let y’all see.

I guess it’s wake-up time for us all, not just for me!

Is this how The Energy is using me? Through my families’ story?

What will be the glory? (word count: 755)

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I wanted to be cool, just like me sis.

I always wanted to tag along with her; she wouldn’t let me, she insists!

Pushing me away is what she did.

“Go and make your own friends; mine aren’t yours to lend!”

‘T would make me very sad, at times mad.

So after a while I left her alone and started leading a life on me own.

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After the first time we met, now talkin’ bout the online man;him I could not forget.

Everything I did, to get rid of the feeling; it’s him that I miss..

Yet everywhere I’d go; a friggin’ sign would show!

One day I was drivin’ downtown; you were blown-up on a bus; ‘course made me frown!

O dear… Another one…?!?!

Drivin’ behind a bus… (word count 888!!!); my aunt got run-over by a bus(time; 11:44).

I drive behind a bus and see you;

what is the clue?!

Do I need to get hit by a bus, to see; it’s you for me?!

Why of all the stories in my life, did I post those online?

Is it because they were so significant to me?

Later in life the stories would make me see;

how I set myself free, through pain and despair; first thinkin’ it all ain’t fair;

Later knowing, what still in my head isn’t showing?

What is it? What is it I don’t see?

Do I really need to get hit with a hammer, for some online glamour?

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My sister later confessed; when she was little,she just did her best; just like all of us; the rest; to survive this family mess.

Had she known; the pain in me it had grown;

She’d never treated me like that.

Sis; I got over it, that’s a fact!

All that is left for this miss; bliss!

Even tho no money, no honey: I’m happy as a newborn bunny.

Outside it’s rainin’; not sunny.